Neglect: Art and novel updates

I just checked killmortality.net, my art network/portfolio again today after a long, long “hiatus”. The fact is, I’ve been focusing on my web design company and my work in that part of life, hence the neglect. I posted this update on there, but I thought I’d post here too because I’ve been updating this site a lot more.

I started killmortality as an art network to hold all my artwork in 2005, I was 18 at the time and I produced a ton of artwork in high school; photomanipulation, photography, drawing, painting, poetry… Anyway, the site has gone through 16 versions since then and now I almost don’t touch it. The artist in me seems to be asleep for now.

screenshot

Here’s a screenshot of the current version.

However, I have made progress in a few areas. First, I have decided to take the “graphic novel” potion of my portfolio down. I have done this for three reasons: one/two is that I’m changing my drawing style to be more American AND I’ve decided that my novel is going to be a NOVEL and not a GRAPHIC NOVEL. However, I am planning to illustrate the cover and I do want to release an art book sometime after the novel…when I get to that point. Reason three is that I’m serious about writing this book, therefore, I’ve decided that I need to be more careful about where I post and who sees my posts about the book in particular. In fact, I won’t even be posting chapters or synopses. I have chosen just two people to critique the first draft (they know who they are) the rest of you (if you’re wondering) have to wait until it’s published.

sketches

Some recent sketches. Spoilers.

I have made progress. The first draft of chapters one and two are finished and other pieces different points in the book have been written, I just have to fill the rest in and figure out how I want to put it together.

As for my art in other mediums (see above); as much as I’d love to do it all…I can’t. At least not now. I may do a painting here, a photomanip there as I feel like it and as I have time. I really DO miss producing so much, but I was doing many of these things 10 years ago. I’m an adult now and busy with adult things. And sometimes that’s depressing.

First [half] of May and New post ideas…

This month is just going by so fast!

I haven’t posted in a while, I know. Actually, besides being super busy and dealing with our small car crisis, I have been thinking of new things to post like documenting my journey in throwing away my pointless stuff and simplifying my life, making room for new things that I will actually use/enjoy – like finishing my wardrobe, which is currently (and has been) incomplete due to lack of $$. OR my painting the walls, or doing another “things that make my life easier” post. Any ideas?

Anywho, here’s what the first half ( o_0;;;) of May looks like:

first half of May

[1] These past few months have been weird because of the on/off, hot/cold…ness but I’m finally starting to see a lot more color outside! Beside these big, white beauties our climbing ROSES are starting to bloom all over!! I stayed home watching the flowers bloom because my car was in the shop basically all week! But at least it’s been warm enough to sit outside the past couple days so I can enjoy them.

[2] I took this recent pic of my hair (and makeup) last week. I’ve been sort of documenting my hair growth in pictures since I started growing back out last fall. For the longest time (since I was 17) I had a pixie cut, and I loved it! But in October I decided that it was time for a change; everything else in my life changed, why not my hair? So here’s what it looks like now. It’s getting so pretty that I’m now having a hard time understanding why I cut it off in the first place.

My goal is a long, angled bob with the longest point (in the front) barely touching my collar bones so I have a while before the length is right to go and get it shaped. Getting there!

[3] Earlier this week when it was colder (and rainy) I did some baking. This cookies came out really well! I was surprised at how tasty they were. I had this instant oatmeal mix on my pantry shelf that sat there forever because I didn’t know what to do with it so I decided to make it into something edible. I hate oatmeal in the traditional sense, Tristan’s not a fan either (I have what I call “texture issues” with it), but oatmeal cookies I can do. I found a recipe online and substituted sugar for the mix and it worked!

I feel more and more confident in the kitchen every day that I cook or bake. I’m delighted by this because I never thought I’d be such a foodie. I did NOT grow up with everything made from scratch. My mom usually made things with the help of a store-bought mix or something else that came in a box. I LOVE “box” cooking too, I grew up that way, but it’s nice to start stepping outside the “box” to see what I can invent something that we like.

[4] My mother-in-law and I both were busy this week, it was appropriate that we finished out the week in Chestnut Hill. Today was my first time eating at Cake and I really enjoyed it. It’s like eating in a greenhouse and there’s a flower shop/boutique that is connected to it. Definitely going again sometime.

Change on a Friday night

I’m staying up late again tonight. I have been on a weird sleep/wake schedule for the past week. But since I’m up I wanted to write a little.

This is going to be kind of an ironic blog post because I feel right now like I have nothing to say. Nothing to say except that I cannot wait until Friday. Why Friday? Friday, in fact the first Friday for every month, my church does something called all-night prayer. All night prayer is just that; prayer for hours, cooperate prayer. Cooperate pray was something I never experienced in the sense that the congregation came together, by choice, to fellowship and pray for one another – and it wasn’t even Sunday.

I think that Sunday has become a chore for many people. I too, once felt obligated to attend church. But now, through many trials and errors (on my part, of course) and experiences through which I have grown and [hopefully] matured in my faith, I feel myself falling back to that child-like awe that overtakes the newly redeemed. It is this feeling that I hope that I never lose again and that some day (when I “grow up”), when [or if] I have children of my own, I can teach them to hold on that child-like love and amazement; one needs that in life, I think. For me, at least, it enables me to laugh freely, love purely and live bravely. It also makes me pine for Sunday mornings and first-of-the-month Friday nights.

{next day}

Continuing last night’s thought…my poor car is really sounding awful. Bible study awaited me tonight but instead I’m at home writing because I really don’t want to drive it like this. We’re calling the mechanic tomorrow.

And now I’m thinking of something else: how far I’ve actually come. I have these feelings some times that I haven’t really changed in the past 5 years. But it’s in moments of trial that I realize that that is not true! Like just a few minutes ago when Tristan and I turned around and came back home because the car sounded so bad…above I was talking about how much I’m looking forawrd to Friday, however when I got back inside just now it occurred to me that I may not be able to make it and I wanted to cry. I really did almost start crying…but then Tristan made me laugh. He’s so good to me like that. Anyway, a thought happened when I almost cried from the thought of not being able to go Friday night. I really have changed. If I hadn’t changed, would I be upset by the option of staying home or partying on a Friday instead of going to church and praying all night?

if nothing ever changed...

Which makes be remember this quote.

Change is a beautiful thing :)