Money over mind?

I pass by glamour-covered mannequins in shop windows on the street or find my way onto a shop online; a website with a pretty slider displaying models in clothes that I neither want or need and a cleverly designed cart that just makes you want to fill it with things and somehow I feel drawn to them. At first I thought I just like to look at things because I’m visual. I love art and design and all things pretty. The only things that seem to interest me now is make-up and hair and whatever trends are in at the moment. When did I become so shallow? Or is it deep?

Is it deep that I may just desire the lives of the people behind these pretty, Photoshopped faces? That I have the money that their character might have to buy such frivolous items whenever they please? Because it’s the same with catalogs and trips to Ikea. I may very well want the life, not these things. It would make sense, right? Or is that just how I try to make sense of it all and justify my apathy toward everything but the beautiful and comfortable? Do I find myself lusting after these things, or am I just dreaming of having them – or being able to have them if I wanted to? Being broke can do strange things to a girl’s mind. I never use to think about what I am thinking about now. I had money once. I never cared. When I walked into a store I didn’t stare longingly at the clothes sensually draped over the mannequins in the window; big, bight signs in back telling me I needed that and me slightly nodding in agreement. No. I walked in, got what I wanted and walked out. I didn’t need to lust or look or spend hours in the store ogling the sale rack – touching everything. That is sure: it didn’t take me near as long to shop when I had money. I didn’t have to think so hard about making purchases, weighing values of clothing and trying to decide between the dress that fit perfectly (which is rare) and getting everything on the grocery list this time around [instead of skimping to afford it]. Yes, money (or lack there of) does terrible things to a girl’s mind.

So what is it? Have I really become shallow and flat? Or is this just me hiding or trying to deal with my less-than-ideal life style of the moment. Do I want or do I just want to want?

DISCLAIMER: This isn’t a pity post. I’m, not complaining. No, just reasoning. This is an issue that I’ve had for a while now and I’m still trying to figure it out. In this place that I God has me these are some of the things that run through my mind because I have seem to have lost much of my interest for anything else. I think it’s just burn-out (a two year long burn-out) and it will pass. But I just need help getting though it. Christians out there, pray for me.

Southern Trip: The end of Summer

Last month I went down south for 10 days to see my family and friends. It was a good trip; pleasantly fast flights, good food, hanging out with friends and shopping! Nothing too crazy, just your routine visit. Except that the last weekend in August my mom and I drove to Florida to see my Gram! So I was in South Carolina for about 6 days with my parents and my other kitties :)

end of summer trip

[1] When I got to my parents’ house my cats were happy to see me. This is me giving my Max a tummy rub. He’s gotten so fat! But I was so happy to see that he and his sister were doing well.

Stella’s in the lower right hand corner sitting by the door. She would NOT have her picture taken =/ lol my little princess.

[2] Pretty much the first thing I did was hit the beach with one of my best friends EVER. I do miss the beach. My parents’ house is about 20 minutes from the coast verses Philly which is a couple hours. So I spent Tuesday and Sunday of that week lounging in the sun.

[3] My parents took my to my favorite, favorite sushi place when I got in. This is my FAVORITE roll, Spicy Double-Tuna; cooked tuna inside, raw tuna on top with spicy sauce. YUM.

[4] On the way to Florida, my mom and I always stop at the Florida Welcome Center (I’ve made many trips to FL as a kid) where they give out a free cup of juice, orange or grapefruit. After getting my cup of juice, compliments of the Florida farmers, I nearly spilled it when I saw this big cardboard display with minions on it! Apparently, Universal Studios was advertising a new Despicable Me ride (I love that movie, can’t wait for #2!!!). My mom took my picture with them ^^ and we were on our way! (Too bad I didn’t go to Universal this time)

We had a nice visit with my Gram (mom’s mom), as always. She always gets me goodies from the thrift store where she volunteers a few times a week. One of my favorites is the picture to the right of me and the minions. It’s a mirror on one side and the other is this! Cute, huh? Being a cat lady I sure do appreciate it.

We ended up leaving early in the wake of hurricane Issac which pretty much ruined the weather for the rest of my stay in SC. I flew home on the 30th. My mom had to ship some of my things behind me since we had done some shopping while I was there. All in all, a blessing at the end of the summer.

Hopefully the next time I travel south my sister will be back in the US and I’ll get to see her as well.

Now, even though it’s only quarter to eight, it’s dark outside. The leaves are beginning to change colors in places, which makes me excited for sweater-weather, pumpkin spice lattes and velvet-red leaves. Bring on fall!