A Letter to my Mother

To be honest, on every Mother’s Day since I’ve been married I’ve made an effort to avoid human interaction for obvious reasons (i.e. people wishing me a happy Mother’s Day and asking me about having children). It’s been awkward since I got married and is even more so now that I’ve been married 5+ years, so I just tend to stay in and forget about it. Of course, like any good daughter I’ll call my mom and my grandmother today, but I’ll still stay inside.

Today though, I’m choosing to “celebrate” it a different way; not with spite or annoyance, not this time. No. I’m blogging about it, which I wouldn’t normally do, but his Mother’s Day is different because today I’m in awe of my mother so I’m writing a short, informal letter to her.

Mop,

You might think this is sappy and weird but I’m writing my thoughts down for you today because I wanted to give you something, if only my thanks. This year I realized something: when you were my age, you were pregnant with me. That fact hit me like a brick…in the face. You are so much braver than I am. I could NEVER do what you did. My life is so different from yours in the late 80s and it’s crazy to think about what it was like to be in your shoes 27 years ago. Today I realize that I’m so, so thankful for you sticking it out and being a mom to me and Christie, taking care of us, raising us, laughing and crying with us…

Thank you changing me, feeding me, bathing me, dressing me, carrying me around, etc.
Thank you for packing my lunches, defending my honor, teaching me, giving me rides, and entertaining everybody else’s kids.
Thank you for tolerating my teenage years and worrying about me.
Thank you for holding me when I felt destroyed.
Thank you for celebrating with me when I got engaged and again when I got married.
Thank you for giving me space when I moved away.
Thank you for trusting me when I say I’m okay, despite how my life may look sometimes.
Thank you for STILL being my mom from a distance.

Remember 2006? That was the worst. I was just thanking the Lord the other day that he didn’t take you home back then, because honestly, I still need you.

Thank you for everything…I MEAN EVERY LITTLE THING, Ma. Everything you taught me is with me everyday. I love you. I’d hug you today if I could…and probably cry.

Your eldest daughter,

Jackie

Hey there.

I just wrote a private post because I’m mad. I haven’t blogged because I’m sad and I haven’t done any art because I’m lazy. I keep working on things, projects that NEED to be wrapped up before the end of year. I’m going crazy. Be back in 2014.

Bittersweet Birthday

Hey, all. I know I’ve been needed to blog for a few weeks now and just haven’t done it. I have NOT been busy, not really…just lazy. I’ve been feeling soooo lazy recently. -__-;;

Monday, the 29th of July was my 26th birthday. I did nothing on my birthday. As an adult, one of my favorite things to do on my birthday is nothing. I slept in, painted my toes, watched movies, did some cooking. Basically nothing.

I got stuff, oh yes. In fact, I got a lot more than I expect this year, which still isn’t a lot but I still feel just, so blessed by my 2013 that I can’t help but marvel at the simple things I did receive; mostly from my mom, grandmother, and mom-in-law (thank you and I love you all!). The best of all though, which I am so excited about is this (from my wonderful husband):

my sewing machine

I’ve been wanting to take up sewing for quite sometime, ever since the economy robbed us of…well, a lot of things, and I got super creative with what little we had. That, and being a fashion lover and super petite, I knew I had to try it. I’ve been teaching myself to sew by hand for a while, but now I can really get down to business. I’ll try to document a project as soon as I get to something interesting lol. I decided I’m probably going to try to making a few catnip pillows and regular sofa pillows first (which you probably don’t want to see). Eventually, I want to work my way up to actual clothes and sewing my own alterations. I’ve already started practice stitching and gathering supplies. We’ll see how it goes. I hope I turn out to have talent in this area.

The title of my post is such because, while getting things, receiving love and leaning new things is sweet, goodbyes are not. A dear friend of mine moved from Philly to TN at the end of last month to go to school and pursue a career. While I’m happy for her I miss her a lot. She’s probably one of the easiest friends I’ve ever made…What I mean is, it didn’t take long to become close; which is a big deal to me because I, not only have a hard time making friends, but I have a hard time letting people in. Still, we just “clicked” together. It’s cliche, but it really did feel that way. I’m hoping that she comes back for Christmas so we can hang out more. It’s just so incredibly rare that I find a friend like her.

Welcome 2013

Happy New Year, all! Sorry I’ve been inactive for a few months. 2012 felt like it went by in no time at all and now we’re (on the east coast) hours away from 2013; it’s so surreal. This year has been a swirl of emotions and blessings for me, an essential learning experience to say the least! But I am looking forward to the new year. I don’t know what’s in store for 2013 but I’m ready to face it.

happy 2013

I hope everyone is having a wonderful start to their 2013 wherever you are :)

The last month: Birthdays, dancing, kitty trees…

Yeah, I can’t do these posts lol I just have a hard time keeping up! I think I subconsciously wait at least a couple weeks to do this so I’ll have something to say seeing as I hardly go anywhere. But this time I have something to say about each of these pictures.

End of July and beginning of August

[1] I celebrated my 25th birthday at the end of last month (Woohoo! *old*). My sisters from the church were there to celebrate with me and bake me this cake (it’s chocolate, a favorite of mine).

[2] My husband’s birthday is six days after mine, so when our birthdays come around every year we tend to mash them together as far as cake and presents and all that stuff. This year presents were had by both of us and the cats, who love their new kitty tree; they’ve been missing one ever sine the move so we thought it was time to replace it (finally). We each got a couple things for ourselves for our birthdays. I usually only get a couple things I’ve been eyeing or wanting for sometime before that, nothing crazy but I will share them at the end of this post.

[3] I’ve been messing around in Photoshop again. I’ve done two of these kind of pieces; they are characterized my a somber, morbid kid of mood and are very minimal otherwise; I’ve decided to put them into a series. I’m actually working on another.

I’m thinking now that I’m going to put all of my old stuff into series as well, and while I’m at it, I’ll be combining my sites – they’re just useless on their own :(

[4] The hubby and I did some serious cleaning and sorting (again) last month and rediscovered our love for Dance Dance Revolution. When we first got married we were so enamored with playing DDR that we bought arcade-style metal pads to dance on. It’s still fun :)

[5] I included a picture of my baby boy, Max because I can’t wait to see my other kitties! I’ll be going down to SC at the end of the month to visit my parents, friends and of course, my kittens!

[6] Eariler this week I went down to center city and discovered this lovely place. John F. Collins Park is a tiny, zen-like oasis in the middle of the tall buildings and bustle of the city; I sat there for a while and I imaged that the space must be invaluable to some of the people that work downtown in the busyness and noise. Best part is that there’s a sushi bar on the same block (sushi’s my favorite food ever). I think I may have found another spot in the city that I like to be in.

Birthday haul time! Actually, I only gifted myself two things so I don’t know if this qualifies as a haul but…

Per my Instagram, I went to Target a few weeks ago and found this little beauty of a dress…and I do mean little, the XS was a perfect fit! I knew that I wanted to go back that grab it as my birthday present to me ;D Now to wear it before the summer’s gone!

Perfect summer dress.

I’m actually considering altering it a little so the straps are not criss-crossed in the back. What do you think?

Next, probably the sexiest keyboard EVER. I saw it on Sneakpeeq and had to have it.

*drool*

It hasn’t arrived yet but I can’t wait. I’ve been in the market for a new keyboard for a while now and when I saw this one I knew I wanted it and not just because I fell in love with the design -it’s so 80slicious, yes? I also like it because of the space between the keys – good for coding purposes :D

That’s what I call a “haul” lol Not very exciting.